to serve and protect

so, this morning i was on capitol hill dropping off a package for work, and two completely unbelievable things happened to me. first, i was crossing the street and there was a ton of traffic, so there was a traffic cop in the middle of the intersection. as i crossed the street, a car tried to turn left against the light, and the traffic cop screamed, "hey jerkoff! do you know what a red light is?" i'll be honest - the combination of the sun glistening off the capitol dome and a cop screaming "hey jerkoff" made me a little misty-eyed.

then, a few minutes later, i passed a cop who was obviously on security detail, and he was having what looked to be a very important, security-related conversation on his phone, nodding seriously from time to time. just as i walked by, he suddenly became more animated and said "wait, you want him to jump out of the cake?"

in other news, i found out today that i have to have a $900 root canal, in addition to a filling and getting rid of my fourth and final wisdom tooth, for a grand total of $1067. i'm so freaked out that i can't even make a joke about it.

ps - my brother is AWESOME. example: once he was telling me a story about something his wife said, and she's a really strait-laced conservative type - so, in the story, her comment was laced with profanity and i was like, "what? did chelle really say that?" and he said "no - a lot of times when i tell you stories about stuff she said, i insert some profanity so you'll think it's funnier." that's when i realized that i don't think anything is funny unless it is positively brimming with obscenities. so the story is sort of sad as a story about me, but excellent as a story about my brother.