one hundred years of blog-itude

so, guys, i'm reading one hundred years of solitude, and i think i had somehow forgotten how magical the book truly is. here's a passage that nearly put me on the floor:

"Jose Arcadio Buendia spent the long months of the rainy season shut up in a small room that he had built in the rear of the house so that no one would disturb his experiments. Having completely abandoned his domestic obligations, he spent entire nights in the courtyard watching the course of the stars and he almost contracted sunstroke from trying to establish an exact method to ascertain noon. When he became an expert in the use and manipulation of his instruments, he conceived a notion of space that allowed him to navigate across unknown seas, to visit uninhabited territories, and to establish relations with splendid beings without having to leave his study. That was the period in which he acquired the habit of talking to himself, of walking through the house without paying attention to anyone, as Ursula and the children broke their backs in the garden, growing banana and caladium, cassava and yams, ahuyama roots and eggplants. Suddenly, without warning, his feverish activity was interrupted and was replaced by a kind of fascination. He spent several days as if he were bewitched, softly repeating to himself a string of fearful conjectures without giving credit to his own understanding. Finally, one Tuesday in December, at lunchtime, all at once he released the whole weight of his torment. The children would remember for the rest of their lives the august solemnity with which their father, devastated by his prolonged vigil and by the wrath of his imagination, revealed his discovery to them:

'The earth is round, like an orange.'"

Seriously. If any of you guys haven't read this book yet, I demand that you read it immediately.

Um, what else? My boss, displaying what I can only describe as some sort of evil bipolar disorder, has this week been wildly vascilating between telling me I can't do anything right to showering me with praise, at one point calling me "dynamite" and presenting me with a gift of a picture frame. What a bizarre woman.

So, yeah, the gym is still going well. I've gone every day since I started last week with the exception of Sunday. I think that 10 out of 11 days is pretty decent, don't you? Besides, there's nothing good on TV on Sunday afternoons, and as you guys know, gym time is TV time.

Oh, also, for those of you who have seen Sideways, I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on Thomas Haden Church's character Jack. I got into a big fight with my friend David about that character - my position was that Jack was a horrible, slimy, disgusting asshole. David's response: "What? All guys are like that. You just resent him because he's trying to get laid." Not true. There are lots of people who are trying to get laid that I don't resent. The problem with this guy is that he's manipulative and dishonest and awful. What do you guys think?

goodbye, hunter.

too weird to live, too rare to die.

imperialism and candy hearts

so, i'm almost halfway through The Folly of Empire now and let me tell you, it is blowing my freaking mind. for example: did you know that, in 1900, after fighting to "liberate" the phillipines from spain in the spanish-american war, the united states (with mckinley as president) engaged in a fourteen-year war with the phillipines, fighting against the same independence movement that we had encouraged when trying to oust spain? sound familiar? and why haven't i heard about this until now?

even more shocking, when dubya visited the phillipines in October 2003, he had the nerve to say the following: "america is proud of its part in the great story of the filipino people. together our soldiers liberated the phillipines from colonial rule. together we rescued the islands from invasion and occupation." does he know he's lying or is he delusional? we may never know.

i think that reading about what happened in the phillipines is reassuring to a certain extent. i mean, bush's imperialism isn't a new thing. maybe, if we were able to fight our way back from the moral terpitude of mckinley's actions in the phillipines, we can fight our way back from bush's actions in iraq (and now probably iran)? even though i'm totally horrified by the events detailed in this book, i guess it's giving me some bastardized form of hope.

also, i found this bad-ass candy-heart generator. check it out. you won't be disappointed. unless you have more than four letters in your name.

also, the gym is going well. i did 4 miles on the elliptical yesterday and i can feel my ass shrinking as we speak. i honestly believe that the thing that will really keep me motivated to go to the gym is that they have cable and i don't, and reno 911 comes on just as i'm stepping onto the elliptical. seems kind of lame but hey, whatever works, right? or, as my dear darling sage mother says, "it's not how your mind works. it's knowing how your mind works." and i know that my mind works on a steady diet of comedy central and the simpsons.

okay, enough for now.

oh, and listen to the new pornographers. they're awesome.

and this:
file this under "i thought this happened 10 years ago": george michael bids farewell to pop music.

the gym, and my reading list.

so, i went to the gym yesterday. it was pretty fun, even though i screwed up my ankle because i got overambitious and jogged 3 miles in what were not really running shoes, so i guess i'll do the elliptical tonight, or an abs class or something. i sort of felt like george costanza on the treadmill though, because everything that could go wrong did go wrong. for example, they have these fancy TV things on the treadmills, and when you plug in your headphones, it logs you into the system and you can watch anything you want on your own personal treadmill TV. smart, right? except that the headphone port is so far away from where my head is while i'm jogging that the headphones cord was under a little bit of pressure, and i kept accidentally hooking it with my thumb while i was running and pulling the headphone jack out of the TV thing, which logged me out of the system. so then, i had to slow down the treadmill to walking speed, plug the headphones back in, choose a channel, adjust the volume, etc. then, in the excitement of all that, just as i was starting to run again, my gym towel fell off of the little towel rack thing, went under my feet, and flew off the back of the treadmill. so i had to stop the treadmill entirely and walk halfway across the gym to pick up my towel. this whole thing happened TWICE.

also, as i mentioned in a comment on chibs' blog earlier this week, i've read a ton of books lately (thanks to my nearly 3-hour round trip daily commute) and i've hated almost all of them. recently finished books that I hated include: A Million Little Pieces by James Frey, Anthem by Ayn Rand, Sabbath's Theater by Philip Roth, Rabbit, Run by John Updike. what's going on? Philip Roth and John Updike both came highly recommended, and i actually quit reading Sabbath's Theater halfway through, which is odd behavior for me. but, i am about to finish White Teeth by Zadie Smith, which i really like. it's similar in scope to One Hundred Years of Solitude in that it's the story of two flawed patriarchs and their families. i think it's an excellent book.

i started a great book today called The Folly of Empire: What George W Bush Could Learn From Theodore Roosevelt and Woodrow Wilson and, while it's totally blowing my mind, i'll hold off until tomorrow to talk about it just to make sure i have something to talk about tomorrow.

so, has anybody read books they loved lately? books they hated? anybody go to a gym? come on, guys. just comment. please.

dean is still a rock star.

so, i went to a howard dean rally last night, which you can read about here. it was insanely bad-ass and there were over 1200 people there. we all crowded into (or onto the back patio of) capitol city brewing company and listened to howie make cute jokes about how he's not accepting any congratulations on the DNC chairmanship yet because "the election is still 3 days away, and remember how we felt 3 days before iowa?" and then he gave a kick-ass speech about how we're going to take our country back and I AM SO EXCITED about what we're going to be able to accomplish with him as chair. i left the rally with a huge smile on my face that didn't fade until, well, this morning when i walked into my office. but that's a story for another time. anyway, go howie!

also, i got 3 cavities filled this morning. isn't that gross? i made it to age 23 before i had any cavities whatsoever and then suddenly i had SIX. i mean, i brush my teeth twice a day, and sometimes i even floss! how could this happen to me? i've always gotten compliments on my dental hygeine and been complimented on my teeth. and now this! strangely, it also happened to a good knox friend of mine (who might prefer to remain nameless since s/he agrees that cavities are totally gross) - no cavities ever and suddenly a couple right at the end of college. what do you think caused it? the beer? the coffee? ugh.

also, you guys should check out this totally scary article on slate:

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totally out of touch

get a load of this douchebag.

more later.

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so, yeah, the interview.

so, yeah, i had my interview yesterday. it was okay. not great, just okay. contributing to the "merely okay"-ness of the interview were the following:

1) i was literally the very first interview for the position. i mean, it's a new department, and i was the first interview. so, they weren't exactly sure which questions to ask and we were all a little off-kilter.
2) i was interviewing for two jobs at once. there are openings for both mental health specialists and crisis management counselors, both of which i'm interested in and qualified for, so they just threw both of those directors into the interview, along with another supervisor.
3) did i mention that there were three of them and only one of me?

so, yeah, a little rocky, but i think they liked me. also, since i was the first interview, i have to wait until they cycle through the first round before i find out whether i get a second interview, and she said that it might be 2 weeks. (the position won't start for 5 or 6 weeks.)

so, i guess i'm cautiously optimistic. i'm currently composing the perfect thank-you notes (thanks to ruth, without whom i would have totally forgotten this crucial step) and i think that once they read my kick-ass clever follow-up comments, they'll offer me the job immediately.

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a cry for help

okay. until today i thought i was a smart, capable person. apparently, i was wrong.

i literally cannot figure out how to put links on the side of my blog. apparently my template is one of the ones that doesn't come pre-configured for links, but i like this template so i don't want to trade it in for a new one. and if i don't put up links to my friends' blogs soon, they're going to riot.

so, if anyone is willing to help me out with this, i'll gladly hand over my username and password in exchange for a list of links.

please?

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i got an interview!

so, as you may have gleened (gleaned?) from the title of today's post, i got an interview for a totally awesome job at So Others Might Eat as a Crisis Management Counselor. Basically, SOME provides mental health services for DC's homeless and poverty-stricken, and the crisis management program will serve as an alternative to psychiatric hospitalization for those who need it but can't afford it - lots of schizophrenics, apparently. so, my primary responsibilities would be providing counseling for these patients, monitoring medications, etc.

sounds pretty awesome, right? well, you haven't heard the coolest part yet. it's a full-time job, and i'll only be working 2 days a week. 2 non-consecutive 24 hour shifts, with 4 hours of sleep per shift. so, i'll work 40 hours in 2 days and have 5 days off per week. can you freaking imagine? i could get a second job, i could take classes, i could update my blog constantly, i could do anything. seriously. bad-ass! wish me luck on this interview, guys: monday, february 7th, 3 pm EST.

also, tonight, my extremely annoying roommate chad (for those of you who don't know my living situation, i'm renting one room of a two-bedroom apartment from an awesome guy named john. chad is a guy who used to rent my room, then moved out to move in with his girlfriend - then, around the same time i moved into my room, he broke up with his girlfriend and moved back into my apartment "just for a few weeks" until he could find something better. well, that was october, and he's still here. hence, his nickname: "the hanging chad") has a few of his extremely annoying friends over tonight, and it's awful. i'm in my room but i can hear his horrible, booming voice. remember that episode of the family guy where peter invites dr. weed over for dinner and peter says he has trouble controlling the volume of his voice when he's nervous? well, chad is like that, except he's always unbearably loud, whether he's nervous or not. so, really, he has nothing in common with peter in that episode, i just wanted to reference family guy. anyway, chad has no social skills and has no concept of when he should shut the hell up, which is often. he just prattles on, oblivious to the extreme emotional distress of whomever has the misfortune of sharing a room with him. and he always talks about the most inane, idiotic, sophomoric bullshit. like, i'll be watching the last 2 minutes of CSI and they're just about to reveal the plot twist and he'll shout some trivia about karl marx's troubled adolescence and i'm like, hey douchebag! arrrrgh. anyway. that's the story of the hanging chad, and he doesn't seem to have any intentions of moving out soon.

okay, i guess that's it.

OH! if any of you haven't seen million dollar baby yet, please go out and see it right now. if you can't afford it, i will send you $8 so you can see this movie. those of you who know me best know my propensity to exaggerate, but million dollar baby might literally be the best movie i've ever seen. so go see it now.

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