commencement

i'm back from knox! highlights include:
1) the midwest! it's so flat and gorgeous.
2) knox people! kate, nate, brian, steve, heather, frank, scotty, mikey, matt.
3) um, stephen colbert. did i even need to say this? god, he was so fucking funny. sub-highlights from the speech (transcript):

• "The Lincoln-Douglas debate drinking game. When someone mentions the Dred-Scott decision, chug a beer! Well, actually, 3/5 of a beer."
  
• "Yeah, sure, immigrants helped build this country. But here's the thing: it's built now! I think it was finished in the mid-70s sometime. At this point it’s a touch-up and repair job. But thankfully Congress is acting and soon English will be the official language of America. Because if we surrender the national anthem to Spanish, the next thing you know, they’ll be translating the Bible. God wrote it in English for a reason! So it could be taught in our public schools."
  
• a cautionary note: "I don't know if they've told you what's been happening in the world while you've been matriculating. The world is waiting for you people with a club! They are playing for KEEPS out there, folks."
  
• Colbert gets serious: "Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blinder, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying yes begins things. Saying yes is how things grow. Saying yes leads to knowledge. Yes is for young people. So for as long as you have the strength to, say yes. And that’s The Word."

and, this letter to Colbert from Barack Obama:

"Stephen, Congratulations on being asked to speak at the 2006 Knox College Commencement. This is an enormous honor and on behalf of the people of Illinois, I'd like to welcome you to our state. As you know, I was invited to speak at Knox after my keynote address at the 2004 Democratic National Convention and subsequent election to the United States Senate. Your convention speech must also have gone really well to have been invited. It's weird that I didn't read about it somewhere.

"Before you deliver your remarks in front of literally millions fewer people than you would at say, a nationally televised political convention, I'd like to offer you a few words of advice. First, I know you're fond of your Peabody Awards, whatever those are, but I'd recommend not bringing them. The students at Knox are down to earth and not impressed by materials possessions like my Grammy Award for Best Spoken Word Album.

"Second, use hand sanitizer after the Pumphandle. Lots of germs there. I cannot stress this enough.

"And finally, don't forget to bring the Truth. I'd recommend putting it in your carry-on bag rather than in your checked luggage. O'Hare Airport is notoriously unreliable.

"To the Knox College class of 2006, I'm sorry I won't get to speak with you this year, but congratulations and best of luck. You make us all proud."

awww, Barack.

flatlands

kate

mattie

brian

nate